On the back cover of the book, Mother & Son, wife of the author, Sarah Eggerichs, states, “As a mother, it is never too early and never too late to apply this message…” This is such a true statement! Whether your son is a toddler or a forty something (or older) dad raising his own family, you can learn how to communicate and relate to those boys. One thing I realized fairly early while raising boys was that by the time they reached puberty or were close to it, they had a need to be treated like men more than children. They would go back and forth between being a child and wanting to be a man but if I continued to treat them as a child the relationship suffered. One chapter in this book talks about how boys (and men) desire “shoulder time”. Shoulder time is allowing your son to just sit next to you without riddling him with questions about his day or simply just admiring whatever he is doing. Just watching. He will open up to you much more quickly this way and even invite you into his world.
I love the following insight by Eggerichs who says,
“Moms need reminders to be a little friendlier toward their sons, especially when someone is severely testing her patience, which most often is her boy.”
Do you respond in a friendly way when your sons test your patience? Or are you impatient and unfriendly. I know I could have done a lot better in this area. But like Sarah Eggerichs says, it’s never too late to apply this message.
Why I read this book.
I am the mother of four boys plus I have a husband. Now, I also have seven grandsons. My husband says all the time, “I could use some shoulder time.” Often my husband asks me if I would like to help him in the garage or go along to do something with him. He doesn’t really want help, he just wants me to hang with him, admire him and do “shoulder time.” That’s what energizes him. My boys are now ages 28-34. My grandsons are newborn to eight years old. I’m going to apply these principles to those boys and see what happens. Remember it’s never too late to improve your Mother & Son relationships!